We get wrapped up in words like “Purity” and “Abstinence” and are ready to throw them out the door because they sound old-fashioned and antiquated to us. In the culture we live in, purity seems like an impossibility, and, quite honestly, it doesn’t sound like much fun. Often times things that are the best for us, though, aren’t always fun in the moment, but the benefits in the long-run are well worth it. Today, we want to lay out for you why choosing abstinence from this point forward is the best choice that you can make.
1. Your physical health
Today, there are more than 25 major STI’s that you can become infected with, many of which have no cure. Over 150 million Americans are infected with STIs, and every year 20 million more become infected, according to the CDC. When you become sexually active, you may not realize how high a risk you are taking.
Former U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, M.D. says, “When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years.” Scary thought. Many STI’s are not able to be cured, so what was meant to be a moment of pleasure, can actually leave you with a lifetime of pain and regret. Long term effects of STIs can include sores and bumps on the body, hair loss, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, certain cancers, and infertility, just to name a few, according to Mayo Clinic. Even the CDC recommends abstinence as the most reliable way to avoid contracting an STI. Your physical health is a big deal, and decisions you make now can effect the rest of your life.
2. Your emotional health
Study after study proves that there is emotional damage that is caused when a person becomes sexually involved with their partner outside of marriage. Multiple partners over a period of time, often leads to deeper emotional damage. People who wait for marriage, though, and who do not cohabitate before marriage have more successful marriages. “Science is now showing us what our grandmothers and pastors knew all along. Having sex with someone who is not our spouse can have a real, measurable and harmful impact upon later relationships. When we give ourselves away – and sex is a full giving of ourselves away physically, emotionally, spiritually – to someone outside the commitment and protection of marriage, it breaks down an important part of us, making our future relationships more unhealthy and difficult to sustain,” says Glenn Stanton of Focus on the Family. When you decide to commit to purity, it restores your self-respect and your self-control and gives you a positive self-image, confidence in relationships, trust in others, and a future with many choices.
3. You deserve respect
If you are feeling pressured at all to be sexually active with your partner, then maybe it’s time re-evaluate your relationship. If you want to know if you are truly loved and respected by your partner, create some boundaries. If your partner cannot respect those boundaries, then perhaps it’s time to end that relationship. A relationship that is based on physical intimacy is not a real relationship. You have the right to set boundaries, and you have the right to expect those boundaries to be respected. If it is a relationship that is going to last the long haul, then you will have the rest of your lives to be sexually active. Why not spend your time dating getting to know each other, finding other creative ways to show your affection, and giving yourselves something special to look forward to once you are married?
4. Future relationships
Perhaps take a moment and think, “Will I regret waiting until I am married to become sexually active?” What if your future mate is waiting for marriage, and waiting just for you? The majority of people who wait until marriage, do not regret waiting. What could be a more beautiful gift to give to your future husband or wife? The choices you make now, will impact your future relationships. Learn to have self-discipline now, so that your relationships in the future will benefit.
5. It’s never too late to make a change
Perhaps as you read this blog you are thinking it all sounds great, but you have already made so many bad choices. We are here to tell you, it’s never too late to make a change, and you can choose secondary virginity now. Secondary virginity is a decision to abstain from sexual activity, starting today and continuing until the day you get married. It’s an opportunity to start over. Secondary virginity is a chance to change risky habits and heal past wounds. Although you cannot physically become a virgin again, sex is much more than a physical act. A decision for secondary virginity can be a decision that will make your future a better one. When you decide now to make a change you eliminate the risk of pregnancy, the risk of STD transmission, being used or exploited for sexual reasons, and so much more.
If you would like more information on making decisions that are best for you and that will help lay the foundation for a better future, contact us today. We would love to offer you the support you need and the tools to help you.