3 things that I have learned about adoption:
November is one of my favorite months and here’s why. I love to eat massive amounts of food for Thanksgiving and it’s finally socially acceptable to begin decorating for Christmas. But something else over the last few years has caused my love for November to grow even more. National Adoption Month. It’s one of my favorites not just because of my own personal connection with adoption, but when Facebook and social media are filled with other families stories of adoption. They hit me in the feels every time. Not every adoption story is the same which is why I love to hear them so much.
We have three children. 3.5 year old twins who joined our family by adoption and an 18 month old. ALL miracles. I won’t share the details of my twins adoption, because it’s not mine to share. It’s theirs. But, I do want to share some things that I have learned about adoption.
The Love is the Same
I know that many adoptive parents often wonder throughout the adoption process whether they will love their adoptive children as much as they would a biological child. The answer is yes. I was blessed with a surprise biological child two years after our twins were born and my love for them all is exactly the same. While we do not share DNA, we are their parents and love them with our whole hearts. This is something that adoptive parents wonder about their extended families as well. “Will our family love them the same?” I can’t speak for everyone but with our experience and those who we know, the love is the same.
Our “Second Family”
Going into our adoption process the thought of open adoption was terrifying to us. But after educating ourselves and lots to prayer, the Lord was changing our hearts. When we met the twins birth mother, there was NO doubt in our minds that we would have an open adoption, if she was willing. To say that I am grateful to her would be a massive understatement. She made me a mom. And the love that we have for her and her family was honestly, unexpected. Her courage, sacrificial love, and selflessness is beyond admirable. We cannot really convey how much we love and respect her.
As adoptive parents we expected that people would have questions. For the most part, the questions come from a place of curiosity and love. But sometimes they are inappropriate. For the most part, I don’t let myself get offended but rather use those times to help educate people about the proper adoption terminology and the personal nature of adoption. This was more relevant when the twins were younger and it’s not something that we deal with as much. But there will always be questions. I am looking forward to hearing the questions from the people who will get all the details. Our twins. It’s their story and I can’t wait for them to know and understand the beauty of their adoption story.