In 1988, President Ronald Reagan made a profound statement:
“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month [October] recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”
In honor of the babies who are now with the Lord and the parents who so desperately long to see them again, please join us as we acknowledge the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on the 15th of October.
We have the honor of hearing a personal testimony from someone special to the Freeport Pregnancy Center. This guest post was written by Anna, daughter to Kristi our Client Services Director. This is what Anna wanted to share:
Words do not always easily describe how we feel, what we go through, or what is on our heart. For me, describing the loss of my two sweet babies is one of those times. Over the last two years, I have had the blessing of being pregnant three times. One of those babies is currently due in January and the other two are with Jesus in Heaven.
Our first baby’s name is Shiyloh, which means “peace”. We only knew Shiyloh for a short time. Due to genetic issues, Shiyloh’s life on earth only lasted for eleven weeks in my tummy. We never knew whether Shiyloh was a boy or girl, or what his/her favorite food might be, but Shiyloh was, and is forever a part of our family. April of 2016 is when Shiyloh went to be with Jesus. We were heart broken, but yet we found peace in knowing that we would see Shiyloh again and that there was purpose in it all. My husband and I did not know then, but the journey God had for us had only just begun.
In June of 2016, God blessed us with two more beautiful pink lines on a pregnancy test. We were pregnant for the second time. We were scared, but so excited that we were a mama and daddy once again. There was a little life that was waiting to meet us in just nine months. The pregnancy was going great. I didn’t ever deal with too much sickness. We had all of the normal screening and ultrasounds. Everything came back perfect! By the beginning of September, we found out that we were going to have a beautiful baby boy! It was my husband’s dream. He was going to have a son. We named him Kaiden Joseph. Kaiden means “companion” and Joseph is his daddy’s name that has been passed down through the generations.
Our pregnancy continued as normal. We enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas as a family. This sweet little boy loved to move around, especially when his cousins were playing or when his mama ate brownies. He had so much life in him and we loved every second as we were already beginning to know his personality. After the holidays were over, we settled in and were anxiously waiting for the last 6 weeks to go by so that we would finally meet our sweet little boy face to face. We did meet our little boy, but not quite in the way we were expecting.
At 35 weeks pregnant, I began having contractions that caused me to go to the hospital three different times. Each time, everything looked normal, so I was sent home with expectations that I might deliver preterm. But, the last time we went home was different. We enjoyed some late night pizza and Kaiden’s favorite treat – brownies! He moved around so much. Sadly, that was the last time I felt my baby move.
Very early the next morning, Kaiden’s heart stopped beating. Due to very clear issues, we rushed to the hospital and our worst fears were confirmed. Our son was no longer with us on Earth, but he had gone to be with Jesus in Heaven. I was then induced and 24 hours later I delivered our beautiful son into this world. A tall nineteen inches and a weight of six pounds. He had his daddy’s feet and his mama’s hands. He couldn’t have been more perfect! But to us, something was definitely not perfect. There was a piece missing. His body was born to Earth, but his heart was born to Heaven.
To be honest, we were angry with God. We didn’t understand why we weren’t holding a warm, smiling baby. We wondered what kind of God would take a baby from his mama and daddy. It was easy to think of all the things we didn’t get, the long life that Kaiden didn’t get to live. It was the most painful thing that we have ever gone through! But, something changed in our heart and we realized that God didn’t take our baby. God gave us our baby! He gave us 35 amazing weeks with our son. We were given weeks of getting to know his personality and who he was; what he loved and what made him happy. His life in the womb was so incredibly full!!
When I think of Shiyloh and Kaiden, I don’t see them as angels. I don’t see my two beautiful babies as dead and gone. I do not see them as a thing of the past or only a part of my life. When I think of them, all I see is life, beauty, and the total love and faithfulness of God. My two babies are in Heaven! They are full and complete. They are happy and at peace. I was angry at God, but I realized that because of God, I was blessed with the time that I had with them. Because of God, I am able to see my babies again. Without a doubt, every life matters! I see that even more in the life and death of my two babies. Without a doubt, God is in control. Without a doubt, I will see my babies again in Heaven. Because of God’s great love, I can live each day remembering my babies with joy and love. With an eager longing, I look forward to that day when I get to embrace each of my babies and tell them how much I love them. Life is beautiful! It can be very hard at times and that will never go away, but because of the great hope that we have in God, we can take on each day and each beautiful journey that God calls each of us to walk.
October 15th is Miscarriage and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I will be remembering Shiyloh and Kaiden by releasing white balloons in their honor. If you have lost a child and would like to have a balloon released in your baby’s name, please comment with a name below and we would be honored to recognize them as well. Take heart in God’s love and courage, to walk the road that He has placed before you.
*Here at FPC we can provide resources to you or someone you know who is dealing with or has dealt with pregnancy or infant loss. If you would like more information about these resources please call our offices or make an appointment here on our website.*